the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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