Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
