I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
