we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
