I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
