your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
