Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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