I'm really into asian looking animals
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
