I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
