Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
this is an emotional support booty call
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
