That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
