Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
