..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
