just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My vagina just clenched in fear
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
