I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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