sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
