I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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