He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I need a burrito and a hug.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
