I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
