I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This is my gift to your gina
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
