remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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