i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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