her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
