I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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