He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
