I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
