What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
