Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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