dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
