I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
