Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
