I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
