I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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