So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
