I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
