I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
