Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
sex in a hospital.. check
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
