you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just found a bag of teeth...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My life is pants optional.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
