I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
