Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
