So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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