i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
