Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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