What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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