How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
