We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
