Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
