Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
