you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
