She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
