In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's always time for handjobs
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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